Football Predictions Based On Nothing

Burnwinter

Rules:

Predictions must be football related.
Predictions must not be based on solid evidence, widespread hearsay, or backed up by reasoned argument. Flimsy evidence, little birdies and empty rhetoric are fine.

Guidelines:

Predictions should be absolute, sweeping and, ideally, controversial.

Burnwinter

I'll get the ball rolling.

I predict that Romelu Lukaku will turn out to be injury prone.

Claudius

I predict that Joey Barton will replace Scholes in the United midfield and win the player of the year award next year. While playing Chelsea, he will be responsible for injuring Romelu Lukaku

Xcdude24

I predict Josh McEachran will be involved in a sex scandal by the time his career ends.

Burnwinter

Nice one Cali - that's the kind of ludicrous sweeping specificity this thread needs. 😃

Xcdude24: you could insert the name of half the players around in that statement and it'd be a truism 🙂

Burnwinter

Harry Redknapp will never manage England.

Xcdude24

Fair point, burnsy.

I'll up the ante: Josh McEachran will be involved in an affair with Jack Wilshere's WAG.

Burnwinter

:o Poor Jack.

Biggus

Burnwinter wrote:
Rules:

Predictions must be football related.

2. Predictions must not be based on solid evidence, widespread hearsay, or backed up by reasoned argument. Flimsy evidence, little birdies and empty rhetoric are fine.

Guidelines:

1. Predictions should be absolute, sweeping and, ideally, controversial.

Eh? wtf is this A-M heaven?

Burnwinter

It's a containment policy Biggsy. Think of it as being like a red light district but for stupidity instead of prostitution.

Biggus

Ah as St Augustine said: "Prostitution in towns is like the sewer in a palace; take away the sewers, and the palace becomes an impure and stinking place."

But I wasn't aware that our shit stinks. :hmm:

And I don't like Biggsy, it's too evocative of Piggsy from the series Monkey.

Biggus

Oh well I'll goose step along......

It will be revealed that Arsene Wenger is in fact - A woman!

I knew it! thunders Fat Sam.
Sky pundits have a field day.
Prominent feminists groan, that this will do for female managers what the Boston strangler did for door-to-door salesmen.

Fergie will invite Arsene for an evening of fine wine and intimate conversation....

asajoseph

Marouane Chamakh will cause rioting across the Muslim world when it is revealed that he uses pork-based products to style his hair.

y va marquer

😆

Cesc Fabregas will NEVER play for Barcelona
:angel:

goon

Biggus to be a Wengerite by the end of the season.

asajoseph

On an even less serious note:

Spurs will fluke an easy draw all the way through, and win the Champions League.

Biggus

otfgoon wrote:
Biggus to be a Wengerite by the end of the season.

A Wengerite again, well it could happen if we land a big 'un.

Prove me wrong Arsene, prove me wrong.

y va marquer

:confused:😐

What an apocalyptic vision.

Edit: Spurs winning the CL that is, not Biggus becoming a Wengerite!

Biggus

Not as bad as the one Asa has painted.

Mirth

Sam Allardyce will become a pundit on Sky Sports. Martin Tyler will resign in protest.

Nicklas Bendtner will crash his car again and walk out of the wreckage semi-nude.

Denilson will be offered a new contract. DaGunners likes this.

Wojciech Szczesny will finally snap and punch someone in the face during a game but gets away with it.