Decided to not give a hoot about the settlements until I get the trade lines in place. As the settlements start to grow in number I find it terribly annoying to transport items between settlements to build basic things. So, for the time being I don't care if they don't have food, water, enough beds and defense. I'll do a few more level ups until I go for the trade things, and in the meantime I'll just help them out when raiders attack and such.
Oh, and sleeping with your companion, often, actually helps you to level up faster. đ