Remember thinking it was Danny Murphy when I first started reading it.

Most of the comments on the articles tend to think it's Danny Murphy. I used to think it was Kevin Davies when I first started reading it. Can't remember what it was exactly but a few things written over a few weeks made me think him.

In one article recently about the FA Cup 3rd round draw he mentioned a few potential clues such as having played for a lower league team at Anfield and some team that he would have played against in that league at the time being drawn against a Premiership team this season. In the comments someone went through everything mentioned and worked out it could be Jason Roberts as he played at Anfield for a 3rd division side in 97/98 or some season that far back, and another team in that division that season was this season playing someone big etc.

The clues say he he isn't black and has played with Balotelli before though

I'm sure if people were getting to close he'd just throw out a misleading clue. So I wouldnt hang onto every word.

Could be a series of experiences from a number of players rather than the same one every week.

Nice guess Bandy. Has to be someone with a mouth who's fairly opinionated and a bit of a snake in the grass / loose-lipped, and it's a white guy. Ireland ticks the boxes ...

Claudius wrote:

david bentley

nah mate, he's gotta be a reasonable smart guy.

The Guardian would try to avoid a player who will make them look like idiots once revealed, you'd think.

7 months later

Anyone read the book? Not a big reader but tempted to get this. Originally i thought this was just the work of a writer/journalist pretending to be a footballer but it now seems fairly certain to be Dave Kitson. I wonder if he'll admit it and whether he'll keep writing or not.

I've read it. Haven't read the column, so I don't know if it's just the same stories or new stuff, but it's an ok read. Not terribly well written, and seemingly a bit rushed, but still not to bad for a footballer.

Ive always wondered who the secret footballer is in his monthly article in the four four two magazine.

Kitson seems to fit many of the clubes, but a few weeks ago he wrote a whole column about his experiences playing for what sound like a reasonably big club on the continent. Whole story sounded like Owen at Real Madrid but then he doesn't fit many of the other clues.

He's finished with The Guardian this season and has his own website: http://www.thesecretfootballer.com/
Also includes blogs from the Secret Pundit who is also apparently a current premiership player, as well as a secret physio and journalist.

5 days later

True it doesn't seem like one single player fits all the clues given unless a lot of them are made up. Often I read one column and think "it must be ..." but then most of the clues already given don't fit.

I've seen it suggested that a few lies were thrown in so it couldn't be figured out. Somebody was claiming that the playing abroad experience was similar to Danny Higginbotham's spell in Holland - i haven't read any of that so i can't comment on it but i think they said Kitson and Higginbotham were friends so he just used his experiences to add more to the story.

Anyway its definitely him. He's even on the record as saying he might go into writing after his career is over and so much of it matches up. These two videos prove it for me.


3 months later

TSF did an interview with Victoria Derbyshire on Radio Five Live this weekend. I've not listened to the full show yet just a three minute clip but it does sound a lot like Kitson.

And from what I read it sounds like he has been caught out claiming certain experiences or stories of others as his own, as many suspected. I think everyone suspected that was the case anyway, either to throw people off the scent or to liven it up a bit.

7 months later

Anyone still reading this? He now has a secret pundit (also supposed to be a current player), physio, journalist, non-league player and even wag.

His latest piece is about Wenger in which he mentioned being part of the opposition in a game where one of our players suffered a horrific injury. Pretty much confirms Kitson as he was on the bench for Stoke that day.

http://www.thesecretfootballer.com/articles/13228/in-arsene-we-must-trust/

Actually, that's probably doing a disservice to 12 year old girls.

True it's about as you expect. I'm still enjoying the Secret Footballer's columns though and the Secret Non League also gives a pretty interesting insight into what it's like way down at the bottom.

a month later

Latest piece further confirms Kitson.

But there are genuine rivalries between managers, too. I can remember one of my old managers becoming almost obsessed with beating Arsenal and, in particular, Arsene Wenger. Whenever we played against Arsenal, it seemed that Wenger couldn’t even wait to leave the stadium before denouncing everything that our club stood for.

It is true that each club was the antithesis of the other, not least in the way that their managers felt the game should be played. It could have been that which fuelled what became a personal agenda for each man, an agenda that often spilled on to the pitch and into the stands. And still does …

That can only be Pulis.

3 years later

Whoever the secret footballer is, he's a racist



well he maybe a racist, but he's apparently expressing what white players, management, ownership and fans believe anyway. i guess it's ok to behave in a racist manner as long as you don't pull the curtain back and put it down on paper. i'm glad he wrote that.

Juan Mata controls games...?

Meatwad wrote:

well he maybe a racist, but he's apparently expressing what white players, management, ownership and fans believe anyway. i guess it's ok to behave in a racist manner as long as you don't pull the curtain back and put it down on paper. i'm glad he wrote that.

He certainly doesn't speak for the fans and I don't think he really speaks for managers or players in general either. He may speak for some of the managers he's worked with but those guys aren't anywhere near the top of the game. The most high profile of them being Tony Pulis and I don't think anyone would be surprised if Pulis agrees with him.

I think he's just one of a bunch of racist and is saying everyone agrees. Thats what racists do.

Klaus wrote:

Juan Mata controls games...?

Looking at that above apparently every midfielder we had when he wrote the article does too, because they're white. Wenger chooses this because he is also a racist apparently. We must have been so shit with Gilberto and Vieira in midfield, no control at all.

It's a good thing Chelsea had Lampard to control games while Essien and Makalele ran around like headless chickens. God knows how they won anything.

Isn't Dave Kitson the secret footballer?

Ha. I was waiting for him to say Ramsey controls the tempo at Arsenal.

I suppose he's now the Racist Footballer—the Secret bit's just a footnote. Cool beans.

Black footballers do contend with racist caricatures as far as I've observed, the whole "beast", "monster" thing plus being called "stupid" or "brainless" for things that might lead to a white player being called "errant" or "lacking discipline" …

😆 We got to get ourselves some of them white fella midfielders we haven't controlled the tempo of a game since Bergkamp and err Vieira.

I was genuinely laughing at some of the names he threw out there, not only the quality of the players but the roles he attributes to them. But the best one has to be Spurs are on the cusp of success since they're playing Ryan Mason 😆

Qwiss! wrote:

I think he's just one of a bunch of racist and is saying everyone agrees. Thats what racists do.

Exactly. Was the case just the other day with the leader of the new far right party in Germany who said "people like Jerome Boateng for the national team but they wouldn't want to live next to him", when he got in hot water over it he also said he just repeated what the majority thinks.

Clarence Seedorf was one of the most intelligent footballers to have played the sport. The secret footballer is a moron.

goon wrote:

It's a good thing Chelsea had Lampard to control games while Essien and Makalele ran around like headless chickens. God knows how they won anything.

😆

I guess Payet's stuffed, someone should have told him he's not white enough to be one of the best playmakers in England