"I'm genuinely pretty happy at Arsenal, fans love me, I'm the leader of the team, we've signed some good players, things look like they might finally be on the up!"
Agent calls: "Man City have offered you a dead-set squillion for you to go join them, they are also league champions..."
"Fucking hell, Arsenal have no ambition, the boss's message is wearing thin, we haven't got enough quality, I'm off!"