"In Europe, "merkin" has also been in common usage as a jocular term for an American since the 1960s (as it sounds like the half-swallowed pronunciation of "American" by some Americans, particularly President Lyndon B. Johnson"
Perhaps we could repurpose Silent Stan as Oxdash-Chamberhyphen's "merkin" and subsequently use him as Pat's beard if the budget constrains us. Kroenke's probably grey enough to pass for a Santa beard?
