I think this is the biggest part of these discussions until a club/manager in good faith comes out and says we benefitted from this decision that VAR or the ref made and we think it's unacceptable and not correct etc these types of issues will always get looked at by whatever team as your moaning because the decision went against you. I understand why we all do that but that ends up undermining the case that you genuinely want to see a "fairer" system. Most of the time we probably say maybe it was a bit lucky but that's football or I didn't see it.
