Gendering is very much a function of language as much as anything else. Sexism, queerphobia, and misogyny aren't necessarily tied to it, and feminism has been distracted by it for some time (IMO because of romance language-based structuralist and poststructuralist philosophers that are so influential in feminist thought).
When you've got languages with no gendered pronouns/determiners, then what? Do we still need to come up with new pronouns? Introduce ourselves with so many disclaimers about preferences and such? Nonbinary could also mean either, not just neither, and as fluid as identity is, so is language itself, and so is meaning. Intention matters, and nonverbal communication, and so much more than the fixation on grammar and vocabulary suggests. I'm not really sure it's a "good place to start" either. It seems like just another way of selfcategorizing and selfsubjugation for the benefit of powers that can use those classifications and metrics for mechanisms of control. Identity is identifying, and always a step towards objectifying, and in turn, becoming subject to identification. It's primarily a social mechanism, and it can get you "in" but it can certainly be exploited. Even my use of the word "partner" marks me in ways I'm not that keen on, and I'll say wife if it feels like the better choice in the moment. All the terms are politically loaded, we're never going to escape that, life is political.
Anyway, all these identifiers are certainly not a great way of understanding who someone "is". They are the result of longing to, maybe.
