"Firstly, I would like to acknowledge the past and present traditional owners of this land, the Iceni tribe of the Briton nation. It is an honour to be able to speak on their country.
Without any intention of creating a working environment hostile to people of short stature, I'm proposing that we each respectfully approach an opposition player with commensurate vertical privilege, and make use of the previously negotiated consent we have to enter their personal space provided we act only within the bounds permitted by our cross-organisational community code of conduct.
If our informal decision-making process can reach agreement on this plan within the next few seconds, I hope that the implementation of this ad hoc team strategy will efficiently mitigate the damaging cycle of goals conceded that has up to this point contributed to a worrying culture of blame within our organisation.
In the event that the strategy doesn't meet with the expected result, an anonymous process improvement suggestion box will be available after the game, and remember you can arrange a private appointment with the tactical equity officer at any time. According to our policies, in which you have all received training appropriate to your cultural background and learning enablement, public accusations of "fault" and "blame" are typically aligned with unacknowledged workplace privilege and are inappropriate inline with direct workplace activity. We deal with process improvement in an out of band flow which is designed to facilitate a productive and positive atmosphere conducive to a low stress, ameliorative outcome.
At this point according to the standing orders for multiple stakeholder action resolution, can all staff who wish to make their preferences known, please show your hands and clearly state your preference 'aye' or 'nay' so that any visually or aurally impaired colleagues can participate fully in the resolution process."
